Abusing the syariah compliant & halal concept to con Muslims, whose faith is weak

Halal logo Photo Credit TAD

Many people, including Muslims, believe that the halal concept has been abused. It is a way to make easy money, because Muslims are largely ignorant and halal items are sold at a premium.

You print a few holy phrases and persuade an Islamic scholar to endorse the halal products, and Muslims think they will be cured, or the item will make them closer to God.

Some unscrupulous traders use the halal concept to override other concerns, like safety. They offer a halal, or syariah-compliant business, to get rich quick.

Syariah compliant airline

Rayani Air was grounded after a few months. After so much hype, all we remember are the prayers which were said before take-off, during the flight, whenever there was turbulence and on landing. Not forgetting the multiple cancellations, an inability to print boarding passes, delays, non-payment of salaries, pilots refusing to fly, the maintenance problems and insufficient funds to operate beyond the first few months.

If there were an emergency, would the crew be able to cope, or would it be like being “On a wing and a prayer”? How did the Department of Civil Aviation (DCA) and the government issue its licence to operate?

Syariah compliant hotels

What will the elite do with their mistresses/toy-boys? Will the hotels ban lovey-dovey couples who check-in for a night of passion? The moral police will have to disband because they will be out of a job.

Facilities include separate lifts and partitioned conference rooms, for males and females.

Halal lifts

A few years ago, staff from a Chinese restaurant situated on the upper floors of a Petaling Jaya hotel, were banned from transporting non-halal food items by lift.

The workers had to lug the food, some of which was halal, like vegetables and eggs, up ten flights of stairs. Pork and other non-halal food will be properly packaged, and not dripping blood and entrails.

This ban is a malicious move on someone’s part.

Halal trolleys.

Another pointless exercise. What happens if a Muslim wants to pick up a bottle of whisky for a friend’s birthday? What happens if there is a shortage of non-halal trolleys? Will a non-Muslim be able to use a halal trolley or will trolley wars break out? Is a crony about to open a trolley making factory?

Halal eggs and other food scares

Stories of porcine DNA being found in Cadbury chocolates, Golden Churn butter and Tabasco sauce make us think that sabotage was behind the scares. These products have no ingredients derived from the pig. Milk for the chocolates comes from cows, as does butter.

During the Cadbury chocolate scare, the television news showed some Malays wailing and demanding compensation, of several million ringgits, for each Muslim, whose blood was “polluted”, when they ate chocolates contaminated with porcine DNA.

These Malays, and the people who coerced them into looking like fools, did not have one iota of concern for the fish, livestock, vegetables, water and air, which were contaminated by the bauxite in Kuantan. Shame on them. It made them look as if they were out for money.

After the latest halal eggs debacle, what next? Halal vegetables? Halal air?

Halal speed-dating

In halal speed dating, the potential female candidate, who is looking for a life partner, brings along her parents or guardian. They meet a potential male candidate, and the parents ask him various questions. They are given a limited time to quiz him, before moving on to the next candidate.

One person asked, “If two people marry, but tire of one another, after a few years, is there such a thing as a quickie halal divorce?”

Actually, I can provide the same service of asking demanding questions of the prospective groom for a lot less money. I already do it for some relatives, and I can promise you my questions are withering! My assessment of the hubby-to-be has always been correct.

Halal corruption

Some Muslims find their judgment clouded, by halal items. So, why do we hear nothing about corruption? Perhaps, corruption has been made halal, but we were not informed.

Halal tranportation

When emulating life in the 6th Century, will the car be abandoned and a camel used instead? People will be happy because there will no longer be expensive garage or mechanic fees for when the car breaks down. Just provide the camel with plenty of water and hay.

A car has noxious exhaust fumes, and the camel stinks both ends.

Halal or not, the breath of a camel can knock you out! The camel’s farts are worse, but no worries, there are no poisonous carbon monoxide fumes. Just plenty of methane and other mercaptans, derived from halal sources!

Halal is big business.

Some companies pay a lot of money for halal certification and they promptly pass this cost on to the consumer.

The only thing you need to remember about HALAL is this; Having A Laugh At Life

Rebuilding Malaysia

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