Honest Governor of the Bank of Nigeria to help Malaysia get rid of corruption

• Have you received any e-mails from strangers informing you of an inheritance?
• Have you been contacted on dating sites, received an unsolicited email or made “friends” on Facebook, by strangers who profess friendship, and then after a few weeks later, after you have shared details of your private life, he asks for money? 

Scammers are looking for potential victims. 

 

Here a friend has written an amusing retort to an e-mail which landed in his “Inbox” purportedly from the Governor of the Central Bank Of Nigeria.

 

Editor’s note: Do not respond to scammers.

 

 

Mr Godwin Emefiele

Executive Governor,

Central Bank of Nigeria, 

 

Dear Mr Emefiele,

 

Thank you for your letter of 24th March.

 

I am sure Nigerians are very grateful to you for putting  “so many things right from the way the corrupt government officials has made it to be.” 

 

Congratulations on your good work.

 

Malaysians are used to corrupt government officials – at every level – who have drained our country of its resources and cash reserve. With the renter mentality the government has instilled in certain sections of the population; every business has to pay a ‘toll’ before being allowed to operate.

For instance, for a long time, taxi licences were given only to privileged people in power or friends of people in power – we call them UMNOputras and Cronies, (I think you call them Ogas or master in Yoruba). These ‘masters’ just rent out the licences, shake legs, sit back and count the money – they have never done an honest day’s work. Meanwhile the drivers work 14 hours a day just to meet the rental; with a little left over to feed their family. 

However, God in his wisdom brought in Grab and Uber, now these licences are as good as toilet paper. Allahu Akbar!

I know you have lots of oil and gas in Nigeria – not so much now after years of squandering and corruption. We are the same. I don’t know about your country, here our oil reserve is for the prime minister to use as he pleases. Accounts are not shown, he doesn’t have to show the books like  other proper businesses.

And do you know, our government has talked smallholders into giving up their land so that a super company can sell their palm oil for them? Sad to say the price of this company has plummeted and the small shareholders who gave up their land, are suffering.

We have become a nation of scammers – like yours. That seems the quickest way to great wealth. Can you recommend me a university in Lagos where I can do a doctorate in scamming? I want to get rich quickly as I am not getting any younger. I wonder if some of our leaders have not studied scamming in Nigeria.

I won’t bore you with other examples, I am sure you get the picture. Our two countries are similar in many ways – that’s why I think you  can do a good job here.

Concerning the 8.3 million which you are giving to me, can you tell me how many trunks it is coming in? This is important because I will arrange for security to take them from your Mr Osso and put them in temporary storage in Austin. I will then take it to my bank in the British Virgin Islands where my pals Jho and Riza keep their money. 

 

I hope you don’t mind this arrangement as it is not wise to bring the money into Malaysia – I will have to pay ‘toll’ just to bring it in and then more money at every “toll gate” I pass through. By the time I get the money, I will be lucky to have one dollar left. There are too many thieves here.

If our prime minister keeps 2.16 billion outside the country, there must be a good reason for it. Our p.m. is a very clever man – I better follow his example.

 

If you agree to my suggestion, there is no need for me to give Mr Donald Osso the particulars you requested. There are too many cyber scammers around; we can’t risk the information getting into the wrong hands. We don’t want to be cyber fools or “maghas” as you call them in Nigeria. 

 

Here we call them “bodohs” – we have millions of them. Every election they will vote for the same people who lie to them and cheat them – not once but for 60 years! Come the next election (which is round the corner) I expect they will do the same. Einstein calls it insanity – doing the same thing again and again and expect different results.

Thank you for your kind generosity Mr Emefiele. May the blessings of Allah be upon you.

 

Maybe you can come to our country and “make things right”. We need an honest man like you who will make sure everyone gets his inheritance without “heartbreak”.

Come as soon as you can before our leaders cheat us of all our inheritance. 

 

Your ever grateful friend,

 

Yin

Ward 5, Tanjong  Rambutan,

Malaysia.

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This is the original letter which the Nigerian scammer sent to Mr Yin…