Children often pretend they are ill, to avoid school because they have not done their homework, or school is too boring, or they just want to play computer games, or lepak.
In Malaysia, even grown-ups act like children, and pretend to be sick to avoid going to work, or the office or in some cases, to avoid going to court. No one likes going to court, because you cannot do what you want to do, like play with your smartphone, and you cannot wander off, for a walk for a chit-chat and you must go to toilet only during the break. Can you imaging to court and sitting down still, whilst a man in a jobah hitam and a wig, drones on and on and on.
Celebrities want to be the centre of attention. They will hate listening to someone else speak, because they cannot say anything, unless they are asked.
Celebs hate going to court, because they must sit on hard wooden benches. Their bottoms are so used to sitting on Louis Farouk sofa which is so comfortable that they easily fall asleep.
Some people hate going to court and will even claim their pet dogs, pushed them or bit them.
Even more desperate court haters, will use the old onion trick. This is when they rub the cut onion onto their eyes, so that the eyes turn red and become swollen. I know because my mother is a teacher, and she said, this trick was often used by her lazy pupils.
On 31 October, former PM, the disgraced Najib Abdul Razak, said he had an eye allergy and could not attend his trial. He was such a model patient, that he took his doctor’s advice and walloped all the medicines in one go (he was supposed to take the course of antibiotics over 10 days), so that he was miraculously cured by night-time.
By morning, he was fit enough to go Johore, which is a few hundred miles away, from KL. He wanted to support the BN candidate, in the Tanjung Piai by-election.
Najib thought he could get the public’s sympathy but he was wrong. The day after he returned to KL, he had so many emails and rude phone calls to scold him for spreading his eye disease to them.
What happened is that his eyes were so itchy, that he rubbed them and then when he shook hands with the public, the germs were transferred to the other peoples’ hands.
Now half of the residents of Tanjung Piai, that is the BN half, are red eyed like they have been crying.
The Pakatan Harapan team saw a golden opportunity and used their red-eyes as a propaganda tactic to say that BN supporters are sad and crying their eyes out because they know are going to lose the by-election.
Anyway, there are three morals to this story.
First. The courts should put Najib in remand to stop him from delaying and prolonging his trial. He is in contempt of court but we know why he did this. He is jealous Jho Low, is having a good time in UAE and Cyprus under his new name, Yogi Bear. (The IGP said that Jho Low had cosmetic surgery and now looks like a bear.)
The second moral of the story is this, when you see Najib, apply for MC, you must treat him like a child. It is “bawang” today, but tomorrow, he could be using the “my grandmother has died again trick”. (Someone in my office some years ago, used this grandmother has died trick six times…in the end, she had to be sacked for abusing her MC)
The third moral of the story is this. Najib should only see a court appointed panel of doctors. We know that in Malaysia, MCs cost RM30 each.
A man who has stolen RM2.6 billion of the rakyat’s money can afford to by many more MCs.
If one can lie to the rakyat, the courts can also fall for his tales.