The Malaysians who turn ‘ampu’ into an art form

Many years ago, former prime minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi’s personal assistant (PA) addressed a group of around 30 people before they met the PM.

He told them that they had to rise when Badawi entered the room. Furious at being treated like children, the group did not scrape and bow as instructed when Badawi met them.

Today, this PA has become the youth and sports minister.

Sometimes, a prestigious university education is less important than the ability to show-off one’s feudalistic tendencies.

Trying too hard to be liked

Eight months ago, in Putrajaya, the most important show on earth at the time, was the Southeast Asian (SEA) Games. It was stage-managed by a future prime ministerial hopeful, Youth and Sports Minister Khairy Jamaluddin. Yes, the same person who ten days ago, told Malaysians to breed like rabbits, so that they could get as much government handouts as possible.

For Khairy, the end justifies the means. He had to succeed, and in this context, success was for him, for Malaysia to win as many gold medals as possible.

He wanted to use the SEA Games as propaganda for GE14. 

So, did Khairy succeed?

The list of gold medals won by Malaysia is impressive. On Merdeka day, naive members of the rakyat would react favourably when told that this was the “best ever” SEA Games and that it was made possible, only because of Umno Baru. 

This is another variant of the oft repeated phrase, “Where would the Malays be without UmnoBaru?” and Khairy made sure that the part he played in the games would be on his CV.

You will recall how winners were whisked-off for selfies with the PM. More propaganda material in the offing.

Some guest nations expressed displeasure, when their flags were mixed-up. Apology after apology was issued. When the flag mix-ups continued, with alarming regularity, a damage control exercise was deemed essential.

Enter the former IGP, who claimed that the flag mix-up was possibly an act of sabotage.

This was perhaps the IGP’s most important role, before his retirement. He won “gold” for his creativity.

He is daft to consider incompetence, and a failure to proofread, as acts of “sabotage”; unless the acts were perpetrated by a fifth column within Umno-Baru.

Malaysia is not a normal country. It is a notorious example of how blinkered affirmative action policies have wrecked a perfectly functioning multiracial nation.

Ampu, bodek…when will it stop? 

First. PAS president, Abdul Hadi Awang, said that only Muslim leaders should lead Malaysia. He said that key positions in the judiciary, administration, security and defence should be reserved for Muslims, because of the prestige these positions bring.

Note the word “prestige.”

When we look at the Malay psyche, social prestige, the sense of entitlement, and the correlation of wealth with prestige, fit nicely into a feudal society. “Responsibility” or “challenge” do not figure into Hadi’s feudalistic social order.

Second. Kissing hands is a recent phenomenon. Malays “cium tangan” (kiss the hand) for members of family, especially for our elders.

In the past, we did not see policemen or politicians kissing the hands of senior politicians. Why now?

Third. If feudalistic Malays are the bane of other Malaysians, our disappointment is compounded by like-minded Indians kissing the hands of the PM. Two communities with deeply seated feudalistic tendencies.

Fourth. Do we need several guests of honour, comprising senior politicians or royalty, at official functions? These people are given comfortable sofas, in the front row, whilst everyone else has plastic chairs.

Is this a deliberate tactic to enable honoured guests to sleep through long-winded speeches?

Are the rest of us provided with the most uncomfortable chairs, to keep us awake?

Fifth. When a senior politician and his wife toured a certain stadium venue, it was alleged that the lavatory was upgraded, to the tune of RM30,000, for her.

Did she even use the lavatory? The money could have been spent on improving the public lavatories, which are typically cramped, flooded and with broken plumbing.

Sixth. Why are senior ministers and their wives “sent-off” by half the cabinet and their officials when they leave Malaysia on an official visit?

We pay their wages, but we would be sacked if we were to go to KLIA, to wave goodbye to a friend or relative each time they fly overseas on holiday or business.

Seventh. Ministerial comfort is of prime importance. Ask a minister what he intends to do about congested roads during peak hours, and he will feign ignorance.

Ministers are oblivious to our traffic woes, because police outriders clear a path for them along busy roads. They are chauffeured around in air-conditioned comfort, in their convoys, at high speed. You will not find this scene being replicated in Western countries, unless you are in ‘The Beast with the POTUS’.

Eighth. Who pays for the outfits which politicians wear at official events?

They are dressed in a similarly patterned batik or t-shirt. Some of them attend several functions a month, and wear different patterned shirts each time. How large is his wardrobe? Is the taxpayer funding this frivolity?

Ninth. Some people aspire to get the Datukship by hook or by crook.

Why? So that they can be ampu-ed by those who attach a lot of importance to these names.

Some demand an apology from those who do not address them properly

Tenth. Respect is earned and cannot be bought. 

The feudal mind is difficult to erase.

Let’s get rid of this ampu and bodek culture amongst Malaysians.